Al ver mis horas de fiebre
e insomnio lentas pasar,
a la orilla de mi lecho,
¿quién se sentará?

Cuando la trémula mano
tienda, próximo a expirar,
buscando una mano amiga,
¿quién la estrechará?

Cuando la muerte vidríe
de mis ojos el cristal,
mis párpados aún abiertos,
¿quién los cerrará?

Cuando la campana suene
(si suena en mi funeral)
una oración, al oírla,
¿quién murmurará?

Cuando mis pálidos restos
oprima la tierra ya,
sobre la olvidada fosa,
¿quién vendrá a llorar?

¿Quién en fin, al otro día,
cuando el sol vuelva a brillar,
de que pasé por el mundo
quién se acordará?

Questions

Everyday, I ask myself the same questions: What have I accomplished?Who will stand beside me no matter what? Will I ever have a life? and, the last and saddest question of all: Would someone really miss me if I died? I only found one answer to two of my questions: My mother. She will stand beside me no matter what, and she's the only one who'd care if I died. That's it. I've always been alone, and I'm almost sure, I always will be.
So, What's the point of it all? Why do I keep living? Am I living only to "satisfy" my mom? What if she died tomorrow? Who would I turn to?

If I loved my job, if I had someone special in my life, if I had friends...I wouldn't feel this worthless, I would live for at least ONE of those things! And that wouldn't be as bad. Sometimes I feel as if I'm just staying alive because nature lets me: I'm not living, I'm not enjoying myself...I ain't feeling anything! Well, that's not quite true: I feel disappointment, I feel loneliness and I feel sad every single day.

I can't even sleep at night. When I finally do manage to fall asleep (with the TV switched on, it allows my thoughts to calm down), I wake up in the middle of the night, and I ask myself all the questions I don't wanna ask. So then, I turn the TV back on, fall asleep and three hours later I wake up again! And then, in the morning, I wake up with the exact same thoughts I woke up/went to bed with for the last...I don't know, 7 years maybe?

When I'm awake, the only thing I want to do is go to bed, and when I go to bed I can't sleep. It's exhausting!

What is more scary?

There are only 2 "stages" that define humanity: life and death. But...which one of those is the most frightening?

Is death more frightening than life? Are people who commit suicide braver than the ones who keep on living?

Think about it...

"We know what we've got"

Choices

CHOICE. What does it mean? Is there a choice when we can’t do anything about it? Do we make our choices in life, or does life make them for us?

Since we were little our whole life’s been about the quest for something or someone that could change it.Do we see the changes coming? Do we accept them?
Growing up we didn’t think about the consequences of our decisions, we just chose between something we wanted and something we didn’t; but as we get older, making a choice gets much more dangerous. It isn’t about orange or apple juice anymore, sometimes it’s about life and death… And how do we get to choose between those two? If we choose death we won’t be able to carry on with our lives, but if we choose life we’ll have to keep on living.
Thing is, we almost never know whether our choices are right or wrong, but we choose anyway. Do we choose them because we think it’s right or because we think we don’t have another choice?

Often we don’t even think about right and wrong, good or bad; we just make the decision of what we think is best for us, even if it’s the wrong decision: it’s about what we want, and we get to make the decisions of what’s best for us. Because, what if we never chose between anything? Would we still be living the same life we’re living now? Would fate decide for us? Or would we be in a complete different place by now?
Is there even any such thing as fate?

Maybe it is all written in the stars, maybe we were destined to be the way we are…and maybe our choices are there to teach us and make us stronger for when fate comes in.
Making a choice always means leaving something else behind: every choice is a piece of who we are, and every decision leads to what we will eventually become.

But what if we make a mistake by choosing wrong? Do we miss our fate?

"That's the beauty of what actors do, that you only have yourself as a resource. And so the trick is to find something in them that you connect to somewhere. And with every single one of my characters, I have to find something that I really understand and ultimately believe"

(Julianne Moore)